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How Self-Talk Can Trigger Depression and Anxiety When You Lie to Yourself image

You can focus on what you want to fix, or you can focus on the strengths you already have to move forward towards what you want. Feelings of depression and anxiety can be triggered when your inner-dialogue is focused on self-concepts that are not empowering or truthful.

Self-concepts are tied to your self-acceptance, self-worth and value. You may berate yourself and call yourself names with cruel remarks from self-judgement that you would never verbalize to another person. Yet you will say these things to yourself over and over until it’s a sound track that plays a disempowering tune in your head.  Other than yourself, who else do you talk to in this way? If anyone else treated you like that, you would say that they are being verbally abusive.   

You have been in and out of the mood you call depression and anxiety many times. It’s familiar like an unwelcome visitor as it drops in like a fog that is drifting into your everyday reality. You feel the onset. You may have tools you use to shift your mood at will. You can choose to change your attitude using the pattern shift that helps you to get unstuck. It’s good to not stay in a negative mindset or mental rumination loop for too long. But that bad feeling keeps coming back over and over again.

On the other side, what is this mood of depression or anxiety calling you to learn? Of the continuum of moods we can experience, this one is considered negative. But these are just two of the variety of moods we have as part of our human experience. A call to become introspective, to look inside and explore why you are feeling this way. Why do you want to disconnect from life and isolate? What is pulling you to go inside? What opens the door to these moods for you? Where do they take you? To deep introspection? Or to a sabotaging behavior such as emotional eating or a Netflix binge.

Are you brave enough face the mouth of the tiger or will you numb out, distract and run away from the Tiger you fear? Once you can see what opens the door to this particular mood, you will be able to nip it in the bud. You will see the fog as it’s rolling in and be able to pause and assess what it the truth that I’m telling myself in this moment? Am I really a loser? A bad mother? An incompetent employee? What is the truth? Seeing the truth of who you really are in all of your strengths and all of your weaknesses will set you free. An honest assessment of “this is where I am and here is where I want to be” can be enlightening. I see how this pattern got started and now I can see it is a habitual way that I hide myself from myself as I dwell on the lies that I’m telling myself.

Find a way to focus on your strengths rather than on the parts of you that you feel you want to fix. Put more energy and attention on what is a strength and what is working well and less on the parts of you that you feel are “broken” or flawed and need to be fixed. This will support the new neuro pathways to form new habits.  Where our attention goes, is what grows. Will you grow happiness and fulfillment, or will you grow sadness and disconnection? You may even be telling yourself a lie that someday when you have fixed your flaws, you will be happy, or rich, or fulfilled, or whatever is your heart’s desire that you keep disconnecting from.

To get unstuck from these moods, practice flexibility and spontaneity to create new habits. It can be empowering to say yes to your heart’s desire rather than focusing on what you “should do.” Go inside and ask yourself, what do I need for myself right now? What is my truth in this moment?

Your invitation is to have less structure and to be in “no-control” in your process of daily living. Naturally you create pattern and structure to find a rhythm and flow that is stable and predictable. This supports you to feel safe and in control of your anxiety. It keeps you in your comfort zone living with what you are tolerating and complacent with. When things feel loose, unpredictable, or out of your control, you may feel more anxious or depressed. But you can also label them as exciting and adventurous!

In the Evolutionary Blueprint Session, we explore what is “right” about you, your strengths and potential to thrive using your strengths to “train-up” those parts of yourself that are not serving you. You will clearly see the truth of who you are in your true nature so you can debunk the lies that you tell yourself. You will gain clarity for the vision of your heart’s desire and the blueprint of who you are evolving and growing into as your potential to express your self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love with compassion. Where your attention goes, is what grows. You can focus on what you want to fix, or you can focus on the strengths you already have to move forward towards what you want. Call me or IM me to schedule a complimentary phone consultation about your Evolutionary Blueprint session.

How Self-Talk Can Trigger Depression and Anxiety When You Lie to Yourself image