Turning around your GUILT, SHAME, BLAME, DOUBT, INSECURITY, RESISTANCE, REPRESSION and FEAR.
As the winter solstice approaches and you begin to dream in some new intents for the New Year, you may tune into the desire to up level your life in some way. The shorter days and longer nights open the natural pause that comes in the crack between Christmas and New Year which is a perfect time to be introspective about how you want change-up the next year. We have learned a lot about ourselves and our values through this roller coaster ride of our COVID era. We have met new faces of stress related to the polarity and conflicting values we are all experiencing in our lives.
Feeling stressed will push you into your default negative thinking and speaking patterns when you are triggered emotionally and mentally. This can show up as inner dialogue or negative emotions that may open the door to your sabotaging patterns. Losing your emotional balance is at the heart of stress. Stress will trigger your blocks to happiness and harmony and can throw you into old patterns of sabotage that keeps you stuck in your comfort zone and not expanding and growing into new horizons.
We each have a proclivity to one or more of these default patterns and recognizing how you are engaging these blocks is the first step to turning them around to be fully and authentically expressing yourself. These blocks include all forms of guilt, shame, blame, doubt, insecurity, resistance, repression, and the biggie, fear.
This list will sound familiar to you as you will recognize how you get stuck when you allow these blocks into your life. Once you are aware that you are doing one of these blocks, you can use the ally as a remedy to turn it around and rewire that pattern into a more empowering attitude and approach.
Guilt: you feel guilty if you perceive that you have done something wrong. To turn it around, ask yourself “What is the truth?” If you have done something wrong to another then make amends. If you are confident that you have not done anything wrong, then you will gain truth and step out of feeling guilty. Others may try to manipulate you into guilt, or you may induce this state yourself if you focus on the “shoulds” in terms of what you should do vs. what you want to do. A simple reality check can support an assessment of the TRUTH which will set you free.
Shame: when you see yourself as a bad person or feel there is something innately “wrong” with you. You feel shame when your measure of self-worth is low and if your poor self-concepts are encoded into your belief system. The turnaround for shame happens when you have PRIDE or POISE in accepting what you have done well or what makes you a good person. Poise means to give yourself grace, balance or equilibrium. Self-recognition is the form of pride about your gifts, your shining or what you have done well is the turnaround for shame.
Blame: A common habit when you blame self, life, and others and do not take responsibility for your actions. The turnaround is proper discernment to see what part is for you to take responsibility for. ACCEPTANCE is the gain when you take responsibility for what is yours to do, and the discernment of what belongs to someone else. We see a lot of blame in our collective right now as prime examples. We can each do our part when we accept what is ours to take responsibility for. But even if you lose your car keys, do you go to the blame of “who moved my keys?” or do you go into self-reflection of “where was I last when I had my keys?”
Doubt will keep you stuck in inertia and not taking action. Doubt will keep you stuck in your comfort zone and not stretching into something new. Sometimes doubt looks like confusion. Taking one step as a DECISIVE ACTION will get you out of inertia and doubt. You can always course correct if the step proves to not be the best action. Decisive action leads to mastery. You will gain confidence when you turnaround your doubt by taking an action which can move you beyond your stuck place in your comfort zone.
Insecurity: inner security comes when you become aware of your insecurity. Naming your insecurity and owning it rather than shrinking from it, will provide outer SECURITY when you are authentic and vulnerable in your insecurity. Standing in your own circle of empowerment to self-govern creates autonomy. When you are true to yourself you create inner security and gain outer autonomy. This is how you create inner peace and outer confidence from the reality of feeling insecure or unsure of yourself. Another place where you can invite grace and humility to be honest with yourself.
Resistance will block you from fluidity and may feel like you are living with your handbrake on which costs a lot of precious life force energy or ki. When you take one step into action you will step out of resistance and into FLUIDITY or FLOW. Fluidity and flow are more energy conserving and can help you to get unstuck from what you are resisting. Making the decision to prioritize one baby step is all it takes to get into flow and out of feeling stuck in your resistance.
Repression happens when you are hiding or holding back in your life in some way. You may be not fully expressing your shining or your gifts if you are in repression. You are living inside a self- imposed box of limitations. You may be worried about the perception of others towards you. Using your imagination to see a new vision or to see beyond your stuck place will support you see how you can expand beyond your box of the comfort zone that is holding you back from expansion. Inspire yourself by stretching your IMAGINATION to to see what is possible if you step out and take a risk to shine or grow in some way. Stepping into a new or bigger space takes imagination to dream yourself into it. You dream it first as a vision then you bring your vision into your life as a reality.
Fear is a big one, mostly related to fear of the unknown. What you don’t know may terrify you and keep you stuck in the comfort zone in the devil you know and not taking the leap of faith into change. Taking steps to gain KNOWLEDGE about the unknown or to make the unknown knowable, will turn around your fear into courage. The more you learn about what you fear will dissolve the unknown and lower the scary factor which will set you free to dip your toe into the water to explore something new.
Which of these blocks do you recognize in yourself? I know I have a couple of “go-tos” that I need to be aware of. Simply paying attention and noticing how these blocks are expressed for you is the first step to find the ally and turn them around so you are not stuck in your shadow thoughts, inner dialogue and responses. Self-awareness it the first step to see how you are blocking your happiness and harmony with these blocks that can become habitual. Re-wiring the turnaround will provide truth, acceptance, confidence, security, pride, fluidity, imagination, and courage to step out of the safety of the comfort zone and into forward expansion into change.
The Dharma Design Session will uncover your blocks to happiness and harmony so you can see how to re-wire your response to stress to get unstuck.
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