Turnaround Your Inner Saboteur Language into Happy Language
I recently gained an illumination about my inner dialogue. I tracked what I was telling myself and realized I was locked into a strong belief that everything I do in life is HARD.
Once I was aware of how strongly this “life is hard” loop was running, I realized how many times a day my attitude was programmed with the expectation that whatever I engage in will be hard.
I picked up my own toolbox, the one I share with my clients.
Pause-Notice-Choose
Pause: I stopped and paid attention to the words I was saying internally and verbally.
Notice: I noticed how frequently I spoke to myself that things are hard. I would then feel the inner stress that my engagement would be hard.
Choose: Now, when I use that word “hard” in any context, I reframe and choose a different word. I can get very creative in finding all the words to describe something so as not to be inside the perspective of hard.
I also say this mantra frequently, “I can choose what I think about.” My thoughts are something I can control with my free will if I stay in awareness.
What I learned from this reframe was really surprising. How many times I think something is going to be hard but, in the experience, it is easy, really easy, shockingly easy. Even when it’s complex, I can find ease in the engagement.
Old Pattern:
Within the attitude and approach that things are hard, I would soldier through to get it done without joy or fulfillment. Pushing for completion no matter what the cost to my energy or my happiness.
In my body, I felt the “stuckness” of this prevailing thought loop. Ultimately, it stopped me in my tracks with sciatic pain shooting down my right leg.
We learn from our physical bodies. As physical beings, our physical experiences become our Teacher. A health thing starts as a whisper that we may push through and ignore.
The whisper gets louder until there is a point; if we don’t turn it around, the physical problem will stop us in our tracks! Yikes!
This is why changing patterns and habits is most effective with a multi-pronged approach that incorporates the Mind-Body-Spirit and not just addressing the mental or physical. To create multiple ways to rewire our habit loop so we can ensure change becomes the new way.
How to rewire your inner attitude to feel more happiness and fulfilment:
- Find that inner attitude loop within your inner dialogue that is sabotaging your life. It may be a word or a phrase, and it will feel like a repeating theme that blocks your happiness.
- Pause every time you hear yourself use that word verbally or within your inner dialogue. Pay attention to your words both inner and outer.
- Notice how you can shift your attitude when you change your perspective with a different word. You don’t have to stay in this negative loop once you have awareness about it, but you do have to be attentive and practice the new way.
- Choose to pay attention consistently and “hunt” for all the times you are stopping yourself through expectation of this negative attitude. Prove to yourself it is not true.
Other steps to rewire your inner attitude and approach to feel happier and more fulfilled.
- The Breath is very healing. Breathe in slowly, a deep inhale of happiness. Exhale slowly, a deep exhale of harmony. Do this several times a day for a few breaths to tap into breathing happy in and harmony out
- If you have pain somewhere, you can bring your breath of life into that place and connect it with your happiness-filled breath.
- Journaling. If you don’t know how to be happy in your life, then start with catching moments of happiness to train your happy muscle. Once you can catch moments of happiness, you can train the pattern, like strengthening a muscle, to hold the state of happiness for longer and longer intervals. This is the “practice” of being happy.
- Journal daily all the times you experienced happy people in your day. This means you are paying attention to other people who express happiness. It can be a server, a store clerk, or the guy at the carwash. Simply track when you see a happy person.
- Track moments of happiness that you experience in a day. It might be a conversation with someone, a thing in nature you see, or a cute puppy.
- Track all the things you did that day that brought the sensation of happiness and fulfillment. It may be that you are choosing to do things to feel happy and to not just “soldier” through.
- Shake up your routines with more spontaneity. Boldly prioritizing choices in the moment from a place of true desire (and not a wish or a should) will encode new patterns of happiness as your priority.
Sara’s Stress Mastery Program will empower you to turn around your inner saboteur language into Happy Language to experience more happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Sara’s Stress Mastery Program supports individuals to grow from their stress, to rewire stress patterns for better health, happiness, and a fulfilling life as an empowered leader.
You can learn her tools and teachings in “Courage to Shine: How to Feel Confident Outside Your Comfort Zone,” available on Audible and Amazon.
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