Recently I have been hosted on a series of podcasts where we discuss insightful topics that relate to everyday stress patterns at work and within our relationships. Following each recording, I either gain deeper insights as I continue to reflect on our conversation, or I find a new door opens to exploration from a whole new angle.
During these podcasts, the host asks me vulnerable questions, and I don’t always have a snappy answer. I have found that honesty keeps the dialogue going and elicits an open-hearted, intimate conversation. There is no judgment, no concern about having a “right” answer but simply dropping out of my head and into my womb of intuition to trust what I have to say as wisdom to share from my personal experience. These conversations feel empowering.
What nugget of wisdom will I share today? I bring the topic, and I never really know what direction we will go. It’s spontaneous, curious, illuminating, and at times confronting. I’ve learned how to be radically honest in presenting what I know to the audience with my stamp of authenticity.
During these podcasts, I’m wearing my life coach hat, my author hat and my spiritual teacher hat. I always wear these hats in my coaching sessions and teaching modes with radical honesty and transparency. I have only recently applied these open-hearted honest communication tactics in my personal conversations. I feel very vulnerable and courageous when I maintain a depth of radical honesty in all my conversations, especially during my 1:1 conversations.
When it comes to stress patterns, we may attempt to cover up how we feel on the inside by having the appearance of having it all together on the outside. I know this pattern well as an overachiever. Look good to others no matter what the cost. This mask stifles our authenticity.
Over time this hiding our truth has an impact. It takes a lot of energy to wear the mask that says “I’m ok” even when I’m not. It puts up a wall that blocks true connection with another if we are masking our truth. It even harms our health when the stress hormones are running rampant in our system.
Often what we are hiding from ourselves as well as from others is the fact that we don’t accept ourselves. There may be an edge of not feeling good enough, prepared enough or competent enough, with an overarching concern that we are being judged. In reality, we are more often judging ourselves and our own performance. This is how it looks in the workplace.
Within our personal relationships, the mask we wear may be how we hold back from communicating what we really need or what we desire from another. Again, we may attempt to keep the peace or deflect our true feelings. We may be complacent to maintain the status quo rather than speaking up. There may be a lack of self-disseverment or self-love. We close the channel to true intimacy with another when we are hiding from our authentic self to fit in or be liked. We may sabotage our 1:1 relationships out of a need for emotional safety. The need for love and approval, no matter what, has a high cost for our happiness.
Self-Acceptance is the gift we receive when we step into radical honesty to speak about what is true for us in the moment, both with self and with another.
Self-Love is the gift we receive when we find ways to tap into our self-acceptance and honesty is one door we can open into self-love.
How to practice Radical Honesty:
- Start with being honest with yourself. What are you really feeling? What do you need for yourself? Finding self-honesty will increase your self-awareness so you can tap into what is true for you and be true to yourself.
- Step out of blame for your circumstances and give-away your excuses. Taking full responsibility is key to co-empowered communication.
- Breath into your center below your navel with slow deep breaths before the conversation. This will center you and help you to get out of the inner dialogue that will sabotage your honesty so you can hear your inner wise guidance.
- If you feel uncomfortable, insecure or vulnerable, share your feelings transparently with the other person. Letting your guard down is liberating and radically honest.
- Understand the difference between self-care and indulgence. True self-care will nourish your spirit and heal your heart. Indulgence will sabotage your self-acceptance and block self-love. Truly giving to yourself, with honesty and care, will shut down the inner dialogue that pulls us into patterns of shame, blame and guilt.
Take a Radically Honest step towards your Stress Mastery and reach out to Sara at www.Directions4Wellness.com or find her book “Courage to Shine. How to Feel Confident Outside Your Comfort Zone” on Amazon and Audible.
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