Choosing to take the high road is how we assume authority for our choices, actions and responses in our life. It’s common to get triggered and reactive in our day-to-day living at work and at home. Sometimes our own internal frustrations may explode out towards another. What I notice is that when I see something that needs to be done or I hear something that triggers me, I can take responsibility for my choices and actions. Sometimes this means that I need to do some clean up from my own words and actions.
I recently had an absolute explosion of rage towards two people who I deeply care for. Things had been building inside of me to the tipping point so that when something happened, I let loose with my honesty and truth. I simply held nothing back. The strength of my words shocked me as much as the other two people. No one had ever heard me speak my truth like that.
Once I calmed down and could see what I did, I realized that it was up to me to go back to speak to each person and clear up what I said, to clarify my concerns and clear the emotional tension. I did not apologize but I did speak calmly and clearly to state my case. This took courage to keep my heart open and to stay neutral so we could talk calmly, neutrally, and hear each other’s point. I chose the high road because I wanted to take responsibility for my behavior and tone.
Emotions are real and as a human being we are wired to feel the full spectrum of emotions. They are not “good” or “bad” unless we judge them to be. Mostly they just are an expression of some form of our emotional energy. The key is not to swirl or stew in our emotional soup. Rather the high road is a movement through our emotions called “energy in motion” rather than holding onto emotions as emotionality.
Rage is justifiable anger and teaches the people the truth. It is about justice. Rage can be misunderstood as an emotion that is “bad” but the way I felt it and experienced it that day in two different confrontations was very empowering for me to fully express what I was feeling and to not hold back the truth and honesty of my feelings. I have spent much of my life not speaking up for myself. The experience taught me that I hit a place of no return and that I will be able to speak up for myself sooner and more directly and not wait for my words to build up inside me like a volcano ready to erupt.
To be inside Energy in motion and not caught up in emotionality, it’s important to recognize when it’s time to move out of negative emotions. Our choice to not swirl around inside of emotionality is how we choose the high road.
Once we are aware that we are stuck in our emotions longer than 10-15 minutes, we can choose to take an action of self-care to move through those feelings so we can see reality as it is without the emotional filter blurring the truth.
- Take some slow deep breaths into your belly to center yourself
- Go outside and find a tree. Give-away your negative feelings to the tree. Say “I give-away my _______ feelings. Trees can transform our negative energy and carbon dioxide into oxygen to fuel the atmosphere. Trees are very resilient to support us to move though our emotions. Nature will always rebalance us even if it is simply a tree in our yard and not an entire forest.
- Call a trusted friend and have a conversation to “empty” our basket. Meaning clearing out the negative emotions by releasing them through sharing about them with a safe person who will hold space for us.
- Journal about our feelings to gain insights and illuminations about our feelings for a deeper level of self-awareness. Glean what we are learning from our emotions.
- Speak to the person directly to clear up the negative emotional triggers and barbs between you. The key here is to stay inside our center in our belly below our naval, called our one point. Keep our heart open and stay neutral so we can really listen and support each other. This is how co-empowerment works.
Chose the high road so you can build the bridge to stronger, more empowering relationships.
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