You have goals for 2017 and now you find that your motivation to change is waxing and waning. Life is busy and you are distracted from your goals for this year.
Here is the good news, the most successful change happens when you take small, incremental steps and get those locked in before you add to your plan.
The reason that you have failed to sustain your goals for 2017 is not a reflection that you failed but more that your plan has not been “sticky” enough to stack your deck for success.
Eight Tips to create a Sticky Plan:Read More
I recently had a very inspiring vision to describe how to create sustainable change. It’s all in how you create a simple plan, with small realistic steps so that you can stack your deck for success. This is the “recipe” that I use to support the amazing transformation for my clients. If you don’t break the steps down into simple, easy to follow steps, you can go into overwhelm or procrastination and never really get started or take action on your plan.
If you think about how we bake a cake or cookies, we can apply the same recipe to our Action Plan for change. While baking, we typically only add one or two ingredients at a time. We don’t add more until they are thoroughly mixed in. Once the ingredients are mixed in or “integrated” we can then add more and stir the next ingredient into the batter. When you bake cookies, you may pour in small portions of flour, mixing in each little bit before you add more. Once all the ingredients have been mixed in you can pour the batter into a pan and bake it into a delicious treat that is a greater whole than the sum of the parts that were the individual ingredients.Read More
It’s that time of year again where we are both excited about the coming holidays and dreading them too with all the extra preparations and festivities to add to our plate. It can be a time-crunch causing us to push with our energy to beat the clock and squeeze in all that shopping, baking, prepping and socializing.
The holiday season is a time when we push through to not miss out on anything and pull our hair out at the same time when we feel we are burning the candle at both ends.
So here is a tip to use when you have so much to do and so little time. It’s about prioritizing your to-do list by the discernment of “I want to” vs. “I should do”.
Here’s the question to ask yourSELF and many when you have competing priorities and many opportunities. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Say yes to those things that are truly your heart’s desire to fuel for your energy bank. When you hear yourself saying “I should do this…” then that is the thing to delegate to someone else or say no thanks. The things that you “should” do are what create the overwhelm because they take up precious space in your day.
When you prioritize the things that you want to do, you can gain energy from that joyful place of giving. When you give because you should to it, you will risk opening the door to resentment. When we over give and deplete ourselves or spread ourselves too thin, we risk going into resentful giving. There is no joy or energy gain if our holidays are driven by the should-do’s and not the I want to do’s”.
Practice fueling your energy bank by listening with your heart’s desire. Joyful giving is energizing and resentful giving is depleting. Always give from a full tank to not deplete your energy reserves and run yourself down.
If you want to learn how to harness your stress into purpose and success, then come to one of my free workshops on November 29th at 6:30pm or December 6th at 11:30 am. Click here for more information. www.directions4wellness.com/events
Sara Regester’s article titled, “The Skill of Being Lost to Find a New Way,” was published in the October 9, 2016 Kicking Ass & Looking Pretty.
Kicking Ass & Looking Pretty is a real life how-to guide for women kicking ass, through experience, stories and advice. Visit their website by clicking here.
Read Sara’s complete article here.
It was late in the day when I pulled off the highway to take a hike near Sedona. The majestic red rock formations rising against the green trees called to me all day as I worked with my client. The landscape was so seductive. I kept walking further and further like a magnet being pulled down the trail. I carefully watched for landmarks as I connected to the beauty around me. The earth was so red that the mountains appeared to be on fire in the late sun and the brush and trees were such a deep green contrast of life against the desert stone. The air smelled so fresh and alive. I could feel the vibration of the life force energy pulsing right through me.
As I searched to find my way I reflected on the metaphor of what being lost is, knowing that there is always a deeper lesson to learn in these situations. I think Spirit might have even been laughing at me asking “Now what is she going to do?”
I deliberately chose to take a new trail and not my usual path. I felt triumphant to be spontaneous to hike at the end of my day before heading back to Phoenix. I felt empowered by the opportunity to break pattern and to explore a new landscape, to make my connection with nature and fill my cup after a long day. This was my treat, my pleasure and my reward. Yet, it almost ended badly at the moment that I realized I lost my way on the trail.
I talk to my clients about re-wiring their brain to reframe mindset, change habits and create new behavior patterns in terms of hiking on a trail. I give the example of deliberately or “mindfully” choosing to step off the defined, habitual trail and to cut a new trail. I wonder how often do we “get lost” when we are creating a new neuro pathway to change a pattern or a habit. What happens when we wander off the unfamiliar trail and step into the unknown? We may feel fear as we step out of our comfort zone. We either give up and go back to the old trail or the default pattern, or we give up and stay stuck where we are somewhere between the pattern we left and where we want to go with a new way.
But I could see what I do when I’m lost on a new trail. Because I’ve been here before so many times. I’m good at being lost and finding my way using my tips and strategies to stay calm and find a solution. Being lost is a test of tenacity, a confrontation to increase my self worth and a testing and challenge so I can gain mastery of that new trail that I’m seeking. For me, being lost on a new trail is part of my process for creating my new way and to break free from my old default way. So it is with my clients. I’m able to teach stress management because I use the tools myself everyday and I know that being more present, containing my energy, leaning into my resource circle for support, are all great strategies to move through a challenging situation or a busy day with effective problem solving and staying in emotional balance to conserve energy and not get stuck in my track.
Just when I had my epiphany that for me being lost is part of my process to re-wire my mindset so I can create a new pattern, or to become masterful in something new, out of the outer edge of my left eye, I saw a fleeting glimpse of a white T-shirt. I could have missed this fleck of life as it disappeared behind the brush.
I walked a little faster and gave a little shout. “Hey! Can you help me? I have lost my way.” This man was going where I needed to go. I was not alone. I reached out for his support, which instantly released the tension that I was feeling in my chest. As I followed him at a discrete distance back to the parking area, I was convinced that he was a miracle. He was an angel appearing from nowhere in the exact moment that I needed support. Within a blink I could have missed him on the trail and there would have not been anyone else so late in the day. So once again, I demonstrated my skill at being lost and the vast resources that are available when I am receptive to my surroundings, receptive to Spirit and receptive to this angel who manifested from no where to show me the way back to the path before the darkness completely fell.
One of the keys to transformation that I offer to my clients through my programs is that I have Shamanic healing wisdom embedded into all of my programs. I have been studying the keys to healing and transformation from the early indigenous cultures of Turtle Island, which is a very ancient lineage of healing wisdom.
I don’t lead with who I am as a medicine woman but I find that when I’m out networking and sharing my message that people are very curious about what Shamanism is and ask if I am a Shaman. Short answer is that I am an apprentice learning to be a Shaman. I have studied for 13 years and have a strong dedication to my Spiritual Path.
Very simply, when we work together, we will shine the light into your shadow and poke a stick at it. Once we explore how this shadow is part of you, then we can heal it, transform it or give it away. There was some reason that you took it on as a way to cope and now this shadow part of you has turned into a box that is dimming your light.
We will work together so you can become aware of what blocks need to change, how to re-wire your mindset and live more consciously. You can then turn up the volume of your inner wise intuitive voice, while turning down that distracting inner dialogue that keeps you stuck. This is how I help you to become more stress resilient so you can be more present in your life to respond to the challenges that are throwing you off course.
Sometimes I will offer a metaphor image that gives you deep insight into your inner matrix or I may give you a ceremony to do with a tree. I have a calling to help people grow, heal and evolve from their life experiences and their physical challenges so they can expand beyond their box of the comfort zone and shine their light brighter and more authentically into the world around them.
I invite you to schedule a session with me to explore your evolutionary blue print so you can see your blocks.
Sara Regester, RN, BSN
Stress Mastery Expert
Sara Regester, Stress Mastery Expert was recently published in the September 20, 2016 blog of the Best Kept Self online magazine which promotes self-help for the self-employed. Read more here!
Here is the full article by Sara Regester:
I was always stressing myself out from my striving for perfection. Perfection was a box I found myself in every time I set unrealistic goals for myself. The box was actually the limitations I put on myself that kept me playing safe and not taking risks. I was a good girl, a good student, a good partner. You could count on me to do a good job.
I was always striving and pushing to be perfect. My goal was to keep everyone happy. But their happiness meant that I was living to please others. My self-worth came from the external approval of others rather than from my own self-acceptance and internal self-worth.
I often said no to opportunities if I didn’t believe I would succeed at it. I lived in resistance and procrastination rather than diving in and letting the results reflect what I was willing to learn. I lacked the confidence to invest in myself with new opportunities. I never jumped into the unknown to uncover what was behind the door. When I finally did get out of my own way, I used a lot of energy to push my way through it exhausting myself to prove my value and self-worth by striving for perfection.
The success from this pattern of pushing and striving fueled my inner need for perfection so I could show up looking like I had it all together.
Then came my turning point, or should I say my “turn-around” point. I was receiving feedback from a mentor after an event where I had to stand in front of a group to lead them through a program. During the part of the program that I was leading, I jumped ahead in my head so I could anticipate my next steps. Jumping ahead meant that I lost connection to that present moment leading to a mistake. It was like a snowball. Once I made one mistake I felt flustered. Then I made more mistakes. After the event, I was in tears of shame about the mistakes that I made. It was at that point of total melt down when I heard the compassionate message from my mentor who said, “Let the mistakes happen.”
“Let the mistakes happen” is the mantra I used to align with performance anxiety so I could allow myself to get out of my box and step onto the edge where the real learning and growth takes place. Stepping out of my box meant I was out of my comfort zone and confronted by my stress. Allowing the mistakes to happen meant I could accept my lack of confidence and step into the experience to use my mistakes to learn and grow from. I learned that perfection is unrealistic and the real gift of my mistakes is about learning mastery.
Seven mindset hacks I used to re-frame my belief about mistakes are:
• Mistakes allow me to develop mastery so I can learn and gain more confidence and success.
• Toddlers frequently fall when they are learning how to walk. Learning to walk happens when the baby is willing to risk falling down to learn how to walk. My mistakes are how I fall down when I’m learning to walk.
• I already have already learned skills that I feel confident about. What strengths can I use from those arenas that will support me to learn something new where I lack confidence. It’s cross training what I know into an area that I don’t know.
• Mistakes are an opportunity to make adjustments or refine my actions along the way to getting better.
• Mistakes are character building. When I am outside of the box of my comfort zone I will be on the edge where the real growth opportunities exist. Hacking the old fear of mistakes gives me courage to be on the edge and out of my box.
• One of my favorite teachers used to say, “If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room” I get what he was saying now.
• When I’m feeling performance anxiety, I remind myself that I’m really excited to perform well and to learn from my experience and that I’m not really anxious. My body responds with the stress response when I’m at the edge, but it’s my mindset the labels whether I call it feeling excited or feeling anxious.
Now that I have the freedom and compassion to allow the mistakes to happen, I can step into bigger opportunities with more presence and connection so I can stay in the present moment. I know how to stay calmer and less anxious so I can dance on the edge of my comfort zone knowing that mistakes will show me how to get better and are not a reflection of my value and self-worth. Allowing mistakes to happen during the course of learning or performing is allowing mastery to develop on a continuum. Striving for perfection is a set up for sabotage.
Sara Regester, Integrative Health Coach and Stress Mastery Expert, is the creator of the “Turn Your Stress into Success” Programs that support the new generation of success driven individuals stress resiliency mindset and strategies. Download her free ebook “The True Cost of Stress” at www.Directions4Wellness.com.